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by chocolat Our community is beautiful. It is not of the physical beauty that i speak. Not of the varying textures, and shades of black that make up the landscape of a BDSM event, but it is of the warmth, love and sense of belonging and familiarity that accompanies being in the company of so many of our people. i have just returned from Thunder in the Mountains, a trip that i anticipated making for several months. Traveling with Sir and sunshine was in itself an honor and pleasure. Matching that, Thunder provided an incredible amount of knowledge share, profound thought, and fresh views regarding our lifestyle. In my opinion, this event provided a good balance between technique and theory. i wet my little girl cotton undies good as Mark Frazier used his huge forearm and biceps to cut off air to my carotid artery. i listened with fascination as Dossie Easton spoke of applying Jungian theory to explain why perhaps some of us do SM. However, i am most satisfied with making an 18-hour car ride due to the new friendships i made there. i met people who touched me deeply in ways that they are probably not aware. i hope to share more in the coming days. Thank you Sir for encouraging my attendance. i am sure that Thunder in the Mountains 2001: A Pain Odyssey will prove to be one of the most significant stops along my journey. The hardest thing about attending a terrific event like Thunder in the Mountains, is returning home from it. i planned for several months for the event and at times it seemed finances and work related stuff would stand in the way. However, i was determined to make the trip. Traveling with Sir Malo and sunshine was an honor and a privilege for me. i was as excited about being in service to them as i was about learning from great community leaders such as Patrick Califia-Rice, Dossie Easton, and Molly Devon. It had been a very long time since i had attended an event such as this one. In fact i'd never attended such a large event, and certainly not one that featured such renowned authors and speakers. It was indeed overwhelming at times. i will attempt to share the highlights and my remembrances here. Thursday July 26, 2001 Mile High at Last The first thing i recall is the warm welcome i received from the event's Director, Rich Dockter. i had the audacity to call Rich to ask him for directions to a steakhouse, and to any local leather shops, as if he weren't busy enough! Rich welcomed Uus to town and promptly put Linda Cox on the phone when I asked for directions. i found myself talking with Ms. Rocky Mountain 2000! Linda was extremely accommodating and gave me excellent directions to a local steakhouse and the address to The Crypt, a local fetish/leather shop. Sir asked me to offer our services in case assistance was needed with set up. He figured that since Wwe'd arrived a day before the event began, Wwe should help out. Rich suggested that Wwe look for the moving van and help unload and set up dungeon equipment later that evening. What a "terrible" job! i thanked Rich and Wwe went exploring! After having a fantastic steak dinner at Emmaline's Restaurant, Wwe wandered down to the hotel's convention center where the dungeon was being erected. Wwe could see several Thunder staff persons working in the gargantuan room that would be transformed into a kinkster's paradise by the next evening. Sir instructed me to introduce Uus and offer our services. The nervousness i felt evaporated immediately as the warmest people I'd encountered in a very long time greeted Uus. Doug, Chris, Julie, and Lord Corwin were among the many Thunder staff that welcomed us and showed sincere appreciation for Oour offered help. my eyes wandered to the various apparatuses that lay about, not yet put together. St. Andrew's Crosses, whipping posts, and immeasurable length of chain were in view. i willed my jaw shut as the group informed Uus they were leaving to pick up more equipment, but Wwe should return later if Wwe wanted to help. Wwe never found anyone when Wwe returned that evening, but boy was it fun examining all the equipment up close! i could almost hear the Dom wheels turning in Sir's brain! The masochist in me had a ball fantasizing about all that dungeon furniture as well!! Just what delights did that giant dungeon-to-be promise to hold.
Friday, July 27, 2000 Kink Takes over The Holiday Inn After a good nights sleep, Wwe decided to beat the blahs Wwe sea-level folk sometimes encounter when in the mountains. Luckilyi mean regrettably, most of the machines in the exercise room were in ill repair. Therefore, only Sir and sunshine got to do some cardio work. i finished my stretches just in time for a dip in the spa. As Wwe enjoyed the hottub, Wwe could see all of the vanilla people departing the hotel. Wwe mused that it would be cool just to sit there in the tub and view from the window the arrival of all the kinksters throughout the day. Soon the entire hotel would be filled with scene people. Wwe were getting pretty excited. i also figured out that it would take approximately 15 boxes of large black garbage bags to line the gigantic windows that faced the parking lot. Can anyone say kinky skinny dip?? Wwe changed and had our breakfast. Lisa took excellent care of us once again. After French toast, eggs, pancakes, sausage, bacon, and fresh fruit, (the melon was scrumptious!), Wwe ventured downtown Denver.. i did the driving and what amazed me most, besides the beautiful scenery, was that my turn signals actually worked in Denver! I mean i put on my blinker, and cars would actually slow down and allow me to merge into traffic! Amazing!! i managed to find The Crypt, which was located on Broadway. The shop offered a good selection of fetish wear, and "novelties." sunshine and i tried on a bunch of outfitsnothing worked for me, but sunshine found a full length PVC gown that fit her like a glove. Wwe strolled down Broadway, and both sunshine and i squealed with delight when we saw the row of bookstores lining the other side of the street. There was even a Book Mall!! There i found a copy of Looking for Mr. Goodbar. Wwe stopped at this fantastic retro-shop. i started to get that little tingle i get when i feel an uncontrollable urge to shop! Sir gave me a couple of glances and told me that i did Not have to buy anything. So back went the mustard colored beaded cardigan, back went the black 1940s gown, and i even put the 70s disco top back... i felt super empowered! Incredibly sunshine found a PVC veiled hat that went perfectly with her gown and Sir found an ideal black shirt Wwe call the Daddy shirt. Outside of the shop, i looked at Sir and sunshineWwe nodded in agreement that it was time to get back to the hotel! There were several more Broadway blocksit just wasn't safeLOL! Wwe made a note to finish our Broadway run should Wwe return to Thunder next year. Back at the hotel registration for the event was already underway. It was still only early afternoon so the large number of people who were already on line surprised me. i was impressed by how organized the Thunder staff were. Wwe lined up by last name and were given a copy of the membership agreement and rules to read and sign. The name badges had to be worn at all times, with your driver's license placed behind it. Security checked your badge each and every time you entered a members only area, such as the seminar area or dungeon. i have never before seen commitment to security, safety, and confidentiality as high at any other event. It was much appreciated! i was delighted to see a sub friend from Houston at the registration table. He attended Thunder a couple a years before and had raved about it then. After picking up Oour packets Wwe went up to our room and examined everything. Wwe'd already planned our class schedules, but made sure nothing had changed. Wwe made our plans for dinner, and also attire for the evening. i modeled about five different dresses and it was decided that i'd wear none of them. Instead i would wear my black pvc pants with the zipper that zips all the way from front to back, topped by a black pvc corset, cinched All the way of course! With sunshine in her stunning new pvc gown and veil, and Sir decked out in his finest leathers, Wwe would make quite the trio. After dinner Wwe dressed. As Wwe were leaving, sunshine realized her badge was missing! Wwe searched the room from top to bottom, bottom to top (no pun intended) but couldn't find it anywhere. She ended up having to get a duplicate badge and use her "SAM's" club card as a substitute for her license! What good subbie wants to run around with a SAMs card clasped to her clothing! Poor sunshine! After the meet and greet, Wwe collected Sir's toys and headed for the dungeon. Wwe'd already gotten a sneak peek, so Sir knew exactly were he wanted to be. As Wwe entered, i was amazed at the room's transformationi tried paying attention to how i was wheeling the toybag, careful not to bump the doorway, or the people outside of itbut gosh!!! i blinked as my eyes feasted upon the rows of St. Andrews Crosses, medical tables, chain stations, swings/slings, and inversion tables. In the center of the huge room was a stage that was rigged up with suspension devices, and what seemed to be mountains of rope and chain. i got all goosepimply as Sir led the way to the chain station on the left side of the room. The station was a huge wooden frame with several eye hooks placed along the top. Sir instructed me to find an electrical outlet for his violent (i always make that mistake!) i mean violet wand. The station was situated next to the supply corner. For the protection of dungeon players, Thunder staff provided sharps containers, cleaning solutions, first aid kits, condoms, lube and other odds and ends one may have forgotten to pack. i asked a blond woman wearing a red DM (dungeon monitor) shirt for assistance. She immediately went to get the guy who i suppose was in charge of electricity. He found an outlet and also offered the use of one of their extension cords. Sir and i taped the cord down and He plugged in the wand. i began to unpack the toys when i noticed an available "coat rack" next to a cross, which was joyfully in use by two women involved an incredible single tail scene. i fetched the coat rack and hung Sir's flogger and other implements on it. i then assisted sunshine in disrobing. During their scene, Sir asked me to hand him his desired instruments. It is always a privilege to watch Sir and sunshine scene. They share a powerful connection that is beautifully displayed each time He touches her, with hand, crop, or cane. i assisted Sir in caring for sunshine following the scene by giving her water and massaging her skin with bunny fur. i expected to be told to pack the toys back up, when Sir instructed me to strip My heart beat wildly in my chestthis i did not anticipate. As Sir chained me up, i began to focus my attention on Him and pressed all other thought out of my mind. I knew that there would be a lot of emotions stirred up for me during this scene. A lot had happened for me in recent weeks, and play always tends to bring my feelings to the surface. i cannot recall the particular order things happened during the scene. i do know i began to float pretty quickly. Whether it was the tablecloth weights on my nipples, the braided flogger, or the cane strokes Sir had me count, i know that i could feel myself sinkingsinking into pure peace and joy. But then i heard the now familiar sound of Sir's daggers being removed from their sheath. i am sure my skin began to glisten from the tiny beads of sweat that would have instantly appeared. Until very recently knifeplay was a Hard-Soft limit for me. Sir traced the knives' edges along my sides, pinched my nipples between the two blades, and even placed them upon my cheek, warning me not to move. The terror excited me and i alternated between whimpers and moans. Sir pulled away suddenly and brought one of the knives down hard and fast between my legs. Of course it was the blunt handle side of the knife which made contact. Once i realized i wasn't bleeding to death, i began to giggleand giggle and giggle. In fact i could not stop giggling!! Sir unchained me, and He and sunshine attempted to administer aftercare. i was just too silly! Giddy is not descriptive enough! Sir felt it might have been the altitude. i assured Sir i was not laughing at Him..goodness though, i couldn't stop! After i laughed my way back into my clothes, Wwe took Sir's toys up to the room and then returned to watch all the terrific scenes. One particular scene we witnessed was of a red headed woman getting fisted by another woman. i remember thinking to myself how totally free and comfortable with her sexuality the woman appeared. She would orgasm, riding the waves, and pause; the Top would tell her to "Fuck IT!" and she would start up again, and again. It was extremely hot to watch. We then saw the Fetish Diva Midori herself involved in a scene with a young lad who was restrained only by the intricate web of rope that bound his head. After inspecting her handwork, Midori began to flog the young man's back. i was mesmerized by the style in which the beautiful woman wielded the flogger. The implement seemed an extension of herself, and the focus she maintained was intense and purposeful. Every so often the young man would wince whilst the Diva seemingly ceased touching him. i remember wondering what deliciously wicked and humiliating thing Midori must be uttering to him. It wasn't until Wwe were making Oour way to the dungeons doors, that sunshine and i spied a small wire exiting from between the poor boys buttocks! He was plugged and Midori held the control. What an excellent touch! As if Wwe hadn't enjoyed enough sensation, Sir decided Wwe deserved yet another simple pleasure. Cheesecake for sunshine and chocolate cake and icecream for Sir and chocolat. i think the three of Uus slept like babieswell i slept like a pet anyhow, safe on the floor at the foot of the bed.i think i let out a final giggle before i drifted off.. Next.. Saturday, July 28, 2001 Sir Malo's School for Wayward Girls The plan was to repeat yesterday's jaunt to the exercise room and spa. Perhaps it was the mountain air, but no one wanted to arise that early. Besides, there was attire to plan for the day! Sunshine and i had discussed wearing our catholic schoolgirl uniforms the day before. With the ok from Sir, we got dressed. i realized that i had forgotten my white undies in Austin! i couldn't be a little girl wearing black thongs from Victoria's secret! Call me an anal retentive sub, but i just had to have white panties. Sunshine wanted some jacks to play withSir mused it would be nice to have lunch boxes to keep snacks in to eat in between workshops. Sir gave me permission to venture out to the local Super K-Mart. i was in full little schoolgirl regalia: blue, red and white plaid skirt, peter pan blouse, red Mary Janes, and a red crisscross pearl button tie. The locals tried not to stare, but one stock boy dropped his goods more than once. It didn't take long to find what i needed, two pair of white cotton briefs (in case of an accident), the lunchboxes (purple girly kind for sunshine and red Pokemon for me!). i squealed with delight when i found a small 2 in 1 game tin containing jacks and pick-up-sticks! As I made my way back down the school supply aisle, i noticed black and white marbled composition books just like i used in kindergarten. Now sunshine and i were truly ready for school! In the check out lane, i found myself sympathizing with my two sons. So many candies to choose from! i grabbed a handful of blow-pops and ring-pops and giggled when the checker asked if i were getting my kids all ready for school. Back in the room, as i changed into my white briefs and set up our lunchboxes, ii started to regress even further. i feel so joyful when i'm a little girl! i literally skipped down the hall to the elevator but was very shy when anyone spoke to me. A boy asked me where class was and i pointed towards the big hallway leading to the convention center. i found Daddy and sissy eating breakfast and bounded towards them. Sissy loved her purple girly lunchbox and clapped when i gave her the jacks and pick-up-sticks. Daddy shook his head and said that it would be a long day. Sissy and i just grinned and wondered what he meant. Wasn't there always 24 hours in a day? After i gobbled down some fruit, and swiped some cranberry juice boxes for our lunchboxes, Daddy said we should go to our first class so we could get seats way up front. i hoped the teacher was nice!
First Period: Breath Control Room 2 Wwe found seats in the front row of Mark Frazier's Breath Control workshop. i have always been fascinated by breath control. There were a few minutes before the class started and sissy wanted to play. we got down on the floor cross-legged and began to play jacks. Of course i did the right thing and "let" sunshine win. Actually she whipped me good i never made it past my onesies! i think we provided pre-class entertainment as we stuck our tongues out at each other and accused each other of cheating (when Daddy wasn't looking of course). The teacher stood at the front of the room like they do when they want you to pay attention, so sissy and I put the jacks away and sat in our chairs like good little girls. Boy did I pay attention. Mr. Mark was so handsome, and what great big forearms did he have (better to squeeze your carotid artery with, my dear!). Breath Control has always excited me because I feel it is the ultimate in power exchange. When playing this close to the edge, you literally place your life in your partner's hands. The Trust involved is absolute. Mark began to discuss the thrill of breath control play, the motivation, different methods, and also the risks involved. Mark emphasized safety throughout the entire class. While he talked, I couldn't help staring at the gas masks and hoods on the front table. Scary, scary, delicious, I tell ya! At the conclusion of the demonstration, Mark asked if anyone wanted to try any of the techniques he'd shown us, either the choke hold, or the gas mask. sissy got permission from Daddy and went right up to the front before Mark had even finished talking! she's so brave i thought to myself! With sunshine kneeling, Mark helped her into the scary looking mask. It was authentic army issue. He covered the breathing tube with his large hand and sunshine breathed normally for a few seconds. It didn't take long before we could see that she was gasping for air. sunshine began to make hand signals and Mark stepped forward so she could lean back against him. Just for a moment, it seemed Mark tightened his hold at the end of the tube, and then he released it. i realized that i had been holding my breath as sissy's lungs finally filled with air. she was grinning as she made her way back over, so i think she liked it! A few other people tried the mask, but many more tried the carotid artery pressure method or the chokehold. i decided to try it and went to the front of the class. i was a little nervous but was Mr. Mark one of the nicest teacher's i ever had. i decided to trust him. He stood behind me and braced himself against me. Then he wrapped his huge arm around my throat in a chokehold and squeezed and squeezed. At first i was afraid i wasn't going to feel anything like some of the other people who tried. Mr. Mark explained that sometimes it's hard to locate the carotid artery. Suddenly all thoughts disappeared and ijust felt this strange ringing sensation in my ears. In an instant i thought to myself "hey..i'm not breathing"the next instant i'm floating and falling. i suddenly breathed in what felt like the freshest air i'd ever breathed and realized that i was on the floor and Mr. Mark was behind me helping me up. All i could say was "wow"! Breath Control is a total rush. i do recommend that anyone interested educate themselves on the different techniques and safety issues. If you have the opportunity to attend Mark Frazier's class, do so. i wish i had brought him a shiny red apple.. Second Period: Fear & Terror "Pushing the Psychological Edge" Room 2 Wwe stayed right in our seats because Midori's Fear & Terror workshop
was also held in classroom 2. It was literally standing, or kneeling
room only. Midori and her boi huck entered the room and began to lie
out what appeared to be an arsenal of torture devices. Third Period: "Shadow Play" Jungian Theory of S/M &
Deep Emotional Play Now i'm excited, i think i probably skipped over to this classi love third period, especially when one of my favorite authors is the teacher! The Ethical Slut is one of the first books i read when i started out in the lifestyle. It was a privilege to meet Dossie Easton, one of the authors. Dossie feels that what we are doing during SM play at times is retrieving some of what's been lost. We are reclaiming parts of ourselves and being more of who we are. She feels this is a healthy drive. Well thank God! As i sat in the class, in my catholic schoolgirl uniform, ring pop on my finger, twirling my hair at odd moments, i certainly could make the argument that i was reclaiming my childhood. Dossie did an excellent job of explaining Jung's theory of the Shadow. The shadow is that part of our consciousness that is locked away and unknown to us. In it may be things that we disallow ourselves to be conscious of, i.e. childhood trauma, certain types of sex. So for some of us, when we explore BDSM we are reaching into our shadow and bringing those hidden parts of ourselves to the surface. There was much intelligent discourse during Dossie's class. Seemed that there was a consensus that spirituality is an important aspect of emotional play. Dossie explored the concept of creating sacred spaces in our dungeons as a way of increasing spiritual presence during scenes. When Dossie stated, "One of the ways you find your emotional limits is by tripping over them," i smiled to myself and i briefly relived my own emotional journey in the lifestyle, particular this past year. At the end of the class, Dossie signed copies of her book, The Ethical Slut. She signed mine with "To chocolat: A great girl-slut." i grinned and thought to myself, "yup, that's me." Hopefully through more shadowplay, i'll find even more of that girl-slut. i can't wait. Fourth Period: "How to Top For Those Who Usually Don't" Room 4 This was the last period of the day and everyone was getting sleepy. Poor sissy was so tired. she needed a nap, so Daddy sent her up to the room. i promised to take good notes. i call myself a submissive/Sswitch most of the time so this class was right up my alley, especially since it was being taught by my favorite erotic fiction author, Patrick Califia-Rice. i have very little experience Topping, although the times that i have done so, i have greatly enjoyed. i suppose the most significant experience happened nearly a year ago when a good Sswitch friend of mine loaned me her boy (who also is a close friend) for a weekend. he was completely at my service from 6 p.m on Friday until 6 p.m. Sunday. It was a very intense weekend, filled with lingerie shopping trips for the boy, an impromptu punishment scene at the dungeon of a good Domme friend, many domestic chores, and even a trip to the local munch. i felt comfortable in that role, but i still have so much to learn! i was thrilled to see this topic on the schedule. The first thing Patrick wanted to know from the class was what different
types of Tops could we come up with. The group named Dominant, Sadist,
Paternal/Maternal, Doctor, Military, Disciplinarian, Teacher,Childlike
Bully, Interrogator, Trainer/Coach, Owner, Captors, Fem/Butch, Healers,
Nurturer, and Rapist. i marveled at some of the types. Why i'd never
thought of being a rapist. Hmm. i have been reluctant about going out
in public as a Top because i have been known as a submissive for so
long in my community and was pretty visible. i honestly didn't think
people would take me seriously. Therefore, i truly appreciated Pat's
take on in importance of creating your Top image. He states that you
should create a ritual that helps you construct who you are. Also you
must make your community know who you are at that moment. The class
came up with many things that one can put on that makes one *feel* like
a Top, including leather pants, suit and tie, Saturday Night.. You Really Needle me Sir! Daddy and i made Oour way back up to the room. i was still filled with energy for some reason. sunshine had gotten some much-needed rest, and even ordered room service. Sir ate the rest of her hamburger, but sent me across the street to pick up dinner. That evening's meal consisted of Subway sandwiches for Sir and sunshine, and KFC for me. As i was preparing to leave, Sir made plans for this evening's dungeon party. He told us that the violent wand could be removed from the suitcase and the sharps supplies should be packed. i nearly froze in my tracks. Somehow i knew that the sharps stuff wasn't for sunshine. Talk about your Fear and Terror! i think my knees buckled under as i raced down the stairs to the van. On my way over to the restaurant all i thought was "no, no, No!" My fear of needles is rooted in the story my mother tells of a six year old me evading capture by the nurses at the health clinic, determined to administer my school vaccinations. Mommy said that before it was over i bit one of them. Well i knew that i would not try to bite Sir, but i still doubted that i was ready to have this limit stretched. i picked up the sandwiches, and then went over to KFC, which was actually a KFC/A&W. i ordered a chicken zinger burger and a large root beer float for strength. Back in the room, we ate and then dressed for the dungeon party. sunshine wore a simple black velvet dress, and i wore a floor length crushed black skirt with a black and periwinkle corset, cinched tight of course. i also wore long black satin gloves. While i was dressing in front of the full-length mirror, i noticed the glimmer of silver peaking between the wall and a small chest on which Wwe'd placed a couple of suitcases. How did my badge get down there i wonderedah ha!! It wasn't my badge at all! It was sunshine's badge lost what seemed like an age ago, but was only actually the previous day. sunshine was ecstatic to be able to castaway the SAMS ID card. Once i finished dressing, i gathered the toy bag and case of canes and crops up. i remembered to place the sharps container and implements in the suitcase. my legs were gelatinous as we ventured down to the dungeon. Although i have very dark skin, i am sure i turned a bit pale, because somewhere between our room and the lobby, Sir asked if i were ok. He was doing this on purpose i thought to myself, scaring the beJesus out of me. One of the reasons i adore Him! The walk to the dungeon had curiously gotten longer that night. i tried to smile at the people who greeting Uus, but my mouth was so dry. i began to mentally prepare for what was to come. i tried concentrating on my breathing and i told myself that tonight was the night i go through my fear. i don't think i will ever get over my fear of needles, but i was determined to get through it that night. i knew i could do it with Sir. i trust him with my life. Wwe were some of the first to enter the play space that evening, therefore Sir had His pick of stations. He immediately chose a sturdy table that was dead center in the row of various torture tables. The mental prep i was doing came to a screeching halt. Sir meant to stick me with needles first! Now! Oh Gawd! Sir instructed me to clean the area we were to use, cleaned, so i found a spray bottle of disinfectant and began to wipe it down. i think Sir knew exactly what psychological effect He caused by having me prepare the place of my torment. The blond woman DM from the previous night came over and offered to help. She brought us several sterile pads. i recognized the type of pad from the birthing room at the hospital when i had my sons. Tables, needles, and pads, oh my! After the table was prepared, sunshine helped me out of my clothing and i was told to lie on the table. i asked Sir for a blindfold. i didn't think i could watch. Of course, He informed me that i would be made to look at the piercings after they were in place. He wanted me to be comfortable with them. i almost laughed out loud, i'm not going to be comfortable Sir! i'm going to want to get up and run! Sir began to speak to me and told me how to breathe, very deeply. i was extremely tense, so he had me relax every muscle in my body. i tried to comply, but my head was swarming with fearful thoughts. Sir was patient with me though. i listened to His voice, continued breathing deep, and finally my body began to relax and my thoughts stopped racing. Sir then told me that he would apply one needle at a time and would only go on if i said it was ok. i nodded and heard Sir ripping some packaging. Sir was really wonderful during the whole scene. He told me what was coming next every step of the way. After cleaning my breasts and thighs with alcohol, Sir told me that he would be placing the first needle into my skin. He said that it wouldn't be much more than a little sting. i trusted Him, so i believed Him, unlike those blasted nurses. i sucked in my breath as the first of the needles pierced the tender skin of my breast. i relaxed almost instantly. It did not hurt! It didn't hurt at all! Still i felt that there must have been blood running down my side. But there couldn't have been because Sir then stated that he'd be putting the same kind of needle into my left breast. He instructed me to take a deep breath as the needle made its entry. My left breast has been more sensitive than the right for several years due to an injury sustained during a clamping scene, so i am always a bit nervous when it is even touched. However, there was no need to fear, the sting was indeed very slight. However Sir now made his way down to my upper thighs. i tried not to panic, for my thighs are even more sensitive. i cried out when Sir pierced my right thigh. i remember being surprised by the burning sensation. i regulated my breathing concentrating on Sirs voice. He told me how well i was doing, how pretty i looked and that i was a good girl. After my left thigh was similarly pierced, Sir explained that he would now place needles horizontally through my skin. Of course, evil tiny taps on my needles accompanied His gentle voice. As promised, i was asked if i wanted to continue. i nodded and answered, "Yes Sir." i started to feel a familiar floating sensation, my endorphins being released. My adrenaline pumped as well. The fear had not dissipated for long. Sir instructed me again to breathe as he slid the needle through my flesh. i think i hissed through my teeth. i couldn't believe this was happening, but better still, i couldn't believe i was enjoying it. Once my breasts were decorated symmetrically, i couldn't help notice the sticky wetness between my thighs. The pain aroused me, and Sir could tell. He told me He did not wish me to cum yet. The masochist in me yearned to convert the pain to sexual pleasure but i obeyed Sir. i willed myself to concentrate on the experience in its totality, riding the waves of pain and falling deeper into subspace. Sir then pierced my right thigh. i was surprised by the intensity and almost began to cry. Sir told me i was doing great and that he was proud of me. i think that is what helped me move further through my fear, Sir's faith in me. He asked if he could pierce my other thigh and i shook my head. i wasn't ready yet. Sir said that it was OK, He would wait. after a while i said that i was ready. i don't remember feeling that piercing at all. i just remember feeling perfectly at peace and finally getting through my fear. At some point, Sir removed my blindfold and allowed me to see myself pierced. i honestly do not remember at when, or how i reacted when i saw my flesh impaled by the tiny metal daggers. Sir finally allowed me to cum. He manipulated the piercings sending jolts of pain exactly where i wanted them. It didn't take Him long to elicit the first of my orgasms. After the second round of waves subsided, Sir said it was time to remove the needles. i let out a little whimper and He assured me that it would be ok. The removals stung a bit more because Sir had to spray them with alcohol. He said that only a couple of them had produced a few drops of blood. Thankfully Sir got me all cleaned up before he removed my blindfold. i thanked Him for the experience and for knowing that i was ready. He said "Thank you." sunshine gave me a squirt of water and put a blanket over me. i lay on the table and continued to soar while they cleaned the area. i finally managed to pour myself into my clothes and sunshine laced my corset back up. i tried to help with the toys, but i think sunshine knew i was in no condition to haul anything. i kinda floated over to the next stop, a suspension rack for sunshine. sunshine's back had pained her since we arrived, due in part to the long drive. Sir decided to see if the suspension rack could work out some of the kinks. Once again the blonde lady DM assisted and showed Uus how the rack worked. After she was secured, Sir turned sunshine upside down and then back up again. From the look of things, it seemed like it stretched her out a bit. Sir then proceeded to look for a free play station. After He lovingly flogged and caned sunshine, Sir decided that we would take in the dungeon sights. sunshine pointed out a tall TS/TV woman dressed in very authentic looking English riding gear. If PVC is authentic! She looked simply smashing! i pointed out a pink sissy maid to sunshine. she said she always wanted to be a sissy maid. Wwe also saw a woman weaved in an intricate robe web at the chain station Wwe'd used the night before. There were several people in various forms of predicament bondage on the stage. And one mummy! Amazing! On the risqué side, one male submissive was made to perform oral worship on a woman while his Domme flogged his backside. A female submissive was bound in a sling and vigorously fucked by a Dom with a strap-on. As we made our way to the exit, we saw chris, one of the first to welcome us to Thunder Wwe told him how awesome this event had been so far, and thanked him for being a part of the organizing committee. i still want to borrow those groovy purple socks chris! Wwe decided to have dessert in the atrium and then went up to the room after an extremely full day. After i fly in a scene, i see colors. How long the colors last and how vivid they appear depends on how high i ascend. i think still saw colors as i drifted off to sleep. Sunday July 29, 2001 Well it only made sense that yesterday's little girls should be today's bois. sunshine attended the LeatherNetwork (http://www.leathernetwork.com/subboy/contents.htm) sponsored boy's Training Camp in Dallas in 1999 and we both attended boy's Training Camp 3 this past April. boi is the proper spelling for a female submissive who identifies as a leather boy. i learned so much about myself as a submissive during the class. It was truly an inspiring and empowering experience. sunshine immediately went to put on her jean shorts, and i put out my cutoffs, but we had to iron our white T-shirts. of course i couldn't decide which one to wear! There are just somethings that cannot not be trained out of a girl! i also needed to shine our boots. i noticed a nick on the toe of my boot and i couldn't get it out! Sir said to would find Charlie, International Ms Bootblack later today. Surely she could help. During breakfast, Leenie, the Dominant woman from the singletail scene on Friday night came over to our table. She invited Sir and us bois to accompany her and a group of people to the local Six Flags. i started to bounce a little in my seat because i love roller coasters. Go figure! Sir said that he would probably not attend but if sunshine or i wanted to we could. Leenie said to just let her know. After she left the table, Sir saw that my bright affect wasn't gonna quit. He said that i could go to Six Flags and could offer to drive a group in His van. He sent me over to Leenie to ask if my services could be utilized. i tried not to skip over to her. Leenie accepted Sir's offer and said she would call the room and let Uus know what time Wwe be leaving. i thanked her and suppressed a squeal. kip, another boy was just as excited as me. To express his elation he does this little jump in the air, that i now call the boy/boi bounce. Ride No. 1 Fisting for Men & Women Room 2 For the weak of tummy, eating a breakfast buffet is probably not a
good idea just prior to a Fisting Demo. Hehe. Actually, perverts that
we are, some of us wanted the main event(s) to begin straight away.
However Patrick Califia-Rice did not succumb to the pressure. Using
an overhead and transparencies, He did an excellent job explaining the
anatomy of the female and male and pointed out where one's fist must
navigate. A tall beautiful brunette named Stacey was the subject. Incredibly
she was the demo subject in the previous day's Branding demo. Stacey
proudly displayed her brand, a beautiful thunderbolt, its tip positioned
directly above her clit. i admired this fellow painsluts grit! Next, Pat discussed the differences between vaginal and anal fisting. Bruce was a handsome fellow with an extremely cute behind. He stated his preparation for a fisting scene could begin several days prior. Bruce stated that he modifies his eating habits, and does mental preparation as well. He stated that a good fisting scene could be deeply emotional for him. When he assumed the position on all fours, Pat started to "stuff him like a turkey." Pat's words, not mine! i can't tell you how much Crisco Pat put inside Bruce's rectum, but let's just say you should get the big can of Crisco! Actually the little small cans are perfect says Pat. Or if you prefer the baker's bar, those work nicely as well. All i could do is hold my breath as Pat put one finger after another inside of Bruce's rectum. Pat indicated that it can take a very long time to get the entire fist inside and it may not work on the first few tries. Apparently Bruce was experienced as even Pat was surprised that it took less than 10 minutes to get his entire hand inside. The Sswitch in me hadn't reared her head this weekend, however watching Pat do Bruce's bottom, made me fantasize about fisting a boy one day. As Wwe left to go to Midori's class, my heart pounded. Fisting is definitely a ride! Ride # 2 Humiliation Play "Make'em Blush, Make'em Squirm!" Room 3 As with the previous day's seminar, Midori's class was filled to the rafters. She began by discussing her own struggle with Humiliation Play. While it is something that Midori enjoys, she acknowledged that she is not always comfortable playing along that edge. Midori emphasized that in order to play with humiliation it is important that both Dominant and submissive have a structurally sound self concept or foundation. It is also important that we understand that self-concept, including what are Oour core values. She cautioned against playing with someone's core values. Humiliation is NOT about knocking down someone's core values. What is fascinating about Midori's seminars, is that all the while she is discussing her theoretical concepts, she also orchestrates an entire scene. At the beginning of the class she had slutmaggie/piggie come to the front of the room and remove all of her clothing. slutmaggie stood with her hands clasped behind her head while Midori talked about her and encouraged the class to make gestures as well. Midori demonstrated the difference between humiliation and degradation, by saying to slutmaggie "You are a dirty little slut," using different intonation. At one point she had slutmaggie eat dog food and bark. Midori asked for another doggie to come up and sniff slutmaggie's butt. Sir looked to me and said to "go". And i froze! i could not get out of my chair! Now this all happened in a matter of seconds, but i couldn't move. sunshine went on up there and sniffed slutmaggie's butt like a good puppy. Midori then asked Sir if she could play with the puppy some more. Sir gave his approval and Midori started talking about the slut dog being in heat. On cue sunshine mounted slutmaggie and rode her doggie booty. The entire room erupted in applause. Midori ended the seminar by emphasizing that when playing with humiliation, there must be safety measures put into place, as with physical SM play. Both parties should understand that there is a way out of the scene and what that is. Aftercare should be discussed prior to the scene. Tops also need aftercare. Bottoms should let Tops know that they enjoyed the scene. A Top can utilize another Top to assist during or after the scene. i was appreciative that Midori addressed this issue. Top care is often neglected. One point Midori made sent me on a brief emotional ride. She stated that humiliation play does not work when there are outstanding issues in the relationship. That trust has to be between the partners, and if it is lacking, playing with humiliation can do serious harm. i left the class reassured that my love of humiliation play is OK, and self-assured that the emotional work i'm doing is keeping me off of the merry-go-round and moving forward. Prior to the next class, i went and found Charlie and showed her the
awful nick on my boot. She was shining a Dominant's boot and somehow
began discussing how she came to win her International Ms. Leather Bootblack
title. Charlie's story touched me so, this boi shed a few tears. i do
not have her permission to post her story, but it is one that made me
proud to be a leather boi. Charlie was determined to get that nick out
of the boot. She tried buffing it, but it wouldn't budge. She opened
her bootstand and took out a small bottle of clear liquid, which she
indicated was dry cleaner fluid. She said she wasn't sure it would work,
but by golly, a little dab will do ya! Charlie applied the cleaner and
buffed the toe of my boot with a soft cloth and the nick vanished. She
then decided to shine my boots. i tried telling her that i had already
done them, but once i saw her in action, i realized this boi isn't ready
for the big leagues. Charlie applies the polish the way i did, with
her hands, but there is difference. She caresses the leather. i could
feel how much she cared about her craft right through the boot. She
was on her way to another competition the following week. i sure hope
she won. i read Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt's "The Ethical Slut" in 1998 shortly after it had been printed. i read it because my Master at the time had recently decided that we would explore "poly." i was very resistant to the idea. i felt that i could never share, and i felt all people into "that stuff" wanted was free sex. i found that "The Ethical Slut" wasn't about advocating for salacious sex, but discussed a paradigm for relationships, many different forms of relationships. The concepts discussed within it, for example "Earning Your Slut Merit Badge" can be applied to anyone with any orientation, including monogamous. Communications, emotional honesty, affection, faithfulness, limit-setting are skills we all would be wise to master. i was so excited to hear Dossie speak on this topic. Her co-writer was in Austin just two weeks before at the GWNN Birthday Bash, but i was away in Chicago and did not have opportunity to hear her speak. After discussing her own journey to ethical sluthood, (fascinating btw) Dossie challenged Uus to question our assumptions about ourselves and about others. She feels that as ethical sluts we have the power to define our own relationships. She states that one cannot measure the value of our relationships by the duration of the relationship. The value of a relationship is based on what makes it valuable to the parties involved, it might be the life-long partnership or it might be incredibly wonderful (kinky) sex. Wwe discussed the problems with slut-hood, including Jealousy. Dossie stressed taking ownership of one's feelings. She stated that if someone doesn't have or feel they have the power to state their needs, they become manipulative. She encouraged everyone to examine their relationships and determine for him or herself what they wanted it to look like. This class was like that lazy river water ride. It left me with a lot to think about and discuss with the people i care about. Winding down The Hospitality Suite Monday July 30, 2001 Back Down the Mountain Wwe got up the next morning and finished packing the car. Wwe were
strangely quiet. i know for me, it wasn't the fatigue of a jam-packed
long weekend, it was a bit of sadness that it was over. i kept looking
around at everything, wanting to be able to remember everything and
every second. Sir bought sunshine a surprise gift and gave me the task
of hiding it in the already packed full van. As i made my way to the
van, i noticed that the Holiday Inn was transforming back to "normal."
There were families checking in and kinksters checking out. i smiled.
i was here when it all began. i stopped being sad and realized that
i had gained much during my time here in these mountains. Even now,
one month later i am still processing information and applying it to
my life experience; the people i met continue to inspire me; and i have
such warm memories of time spent with dear friends. Thank You Sir for
including me on this journey. It was an honor.
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